* J A B B E R - M O N K E Y * Well we scheme and we scheme but we always blow it    Topics      Bourne Ultimatum Pretty awesome flick. Much better than the 2nd one. I don't know if it was as good as the first, I'd have to go back and watch it again to be sure. Does Bonds have a mechanical advantage as well? Here comes the wildly speculative "science." http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1003621797 Quote: This is unfortunate, because by my estimate, Bonds' front arm "armor" may have contributed no fewer than 75 to 100 home runs to his already steroid-questionable total. Bonds tied Henry Aaron's home run record of 755 on Saturday night and will go for the new standard this week back at home in San Francisco. OFN Just seeing if I get banned. Woman gives birth to 17th child, oddly it was an easy birth http://www.foxnews.com/story/0%2C2933%2C291949%2C00.html Quote: An Arkansas couple had a baby daughter Thursday - their 17th child and seventh girl - and the pair say they're still not ready to give it a rest. Jennifer Danielle was born at 10:01 a.m. at a hospital in Rogers, Arkansas, Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar said in an interview. Website offers to break up couples for $425 http://makehimpay.net/break-up-a-relationship-info.html Quote: This is the only anti-dating service available for hire on the Internet! There's a million MatchMakers out there but what about when all you really need is a MatchBreaker? That's us! We're willing to fill that void in the dating industry and get you the break up you've been dreaming of! We're sure you've got good reasons to want a couple's relationship to blow up and crumble to pieces so we won't even ask why. What cell phone do you use? I just got a MOTO Q and I'm not sure if I'm going to keep it. I like the full keyboard but it just doesn't seem intuitive. http://www.motorola.com/motoinfo/product/details.jsp?globalObjectId=113 What are your plans for the weekend? Jamie and I are planning on relaxing and possibly going to a carnival in nearby Eudora. google image search can be restricted to headshots http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=doox&imgtype=face Kameraflage Color which is not detected by the human eye but gets picked up on digital cameras. http://kameraflage.com/applications.html Abandoned places in the US and around the world Maybe there is a place in your state? http://www.abandonedbutnotforgotten.com/index.htm PIGS....IN.....SPACE! Link Hogthrob unavailable for comment. Man gets 2000 identical credit cards in two days http://apnews.myway.com/article/20070726/D8QK8RAG0.html Quote: He wanted a couple of credit cards. He got a couple of thousand. Manhattan accountant Frank Van Buren found himself flooded with plastic in recent weeks, as the ExxonMobil cards kept on coming. Van Buren, who said he has had an ExxonMobil account for his business for 17 years, had ordered two copies of his card because it was expiring. He got the cards he requested - and then got two boxes with 1,000 cards each. Van Buren said it took hours to shred the cards, which all had his name and account number. \"How could you send me 2,000 cards by mistake?\" Van Buren said he asked customer-service representatives. ExxonMobil Corp. spokeswoman Paula Chen said the Irving, Texas-based oil company was looking into the mix-up. Family finds out they have been drinking wastewater http://apnews.myway.com//article/20070725/D8QJSDOO0.html Quote: Vinay Jain knew his tap water tasted funny, but he wouldn't have guessed his family had been drinking treated wastewater used for watering lawns. That turned out to be the case at his suburban-Raleigh home, the discovery coming after workers shut off an irrigation pipe in Jain's neighborhood. His neighbors had tap water but couldn't get their sprinklers to work, while Jain's sprinklers worked fine - but the taps inside his house ran dry. pownce I have some pownce invites if anybody like tehkgi wants one. Nursing home cat consistently finds next person to pass away http://www.cbc.ca/cp/Oddities/070725/K072519AU.html Quote: Oscar the cat seems to have an uncanny knack for predicting when nursing home patients are going to die, by curling up next to them during their final hours. His accuracy, observed in 25 cases, has led the staff to call family members once he has chosen someone. It usually means they have less than four hours to live. 10 ballpark promotions that went wrong (give or take 5) http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/6960 Quote: The Promotion: 10-Cent Beer Night. To bring fans to see the miserable Cleveland Indians, management decided to sell 10-ounce cups of beer for only 10 cents at a game against the Texas Rangers. What went wrong: Management forgot one small detail: drunk people get restless. 10 real life "superheroes" http://www.oddee.com/item_87762.aspx Quote: The Eye (Mountain View California) The Eye is a 48 year-old superhero who patrols the streets of Mountain View, California. He is a street-level, practical crime fighter, who uses various electronic and other means to prevent crime. He has even got a myspace page! GOATSE Flashed In Video During Yesterday's Democratic Debate http://beginnorth.com/blog/?p=93 Quote: Though the image flashed only briefly, both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were seen wincing at the image. Whether or not it was recognized remains unknown. Members of congress consitutionally above the law http://www.capitolhillblue.com/Aug1999/081999/criminalclass4-081999.htm Quote: The Fairfax County police officer who investigated the accident had started to write the 81-year-old Senator a traffic ticket when Bryd pulled a copy of the U.S. Constitution out of his pocket and pointed to a section that he said the cop prevented the cop for ticketing him for anything because he, as a member of Congress "shall in all cases, except treason, felony and breach of the peace, be privileged from arrest" both while attending a session and traveling to or from the Capitol. Byrd spokeswoman Ann Adler says the Senator, an acknowledged Constitutional scholar, "almost always has one (the Constitution) in his pocket." Byrd was taken to the nearby Fair Oaks police station where the shift commander put in a quick call to Fairfax Commonwealth's Attorney Robert F. Horan. Horan told the cop that if the Senator wanted to claim Congressional immunity for the ticket, the cops would have to honor it. With everything else that had happened in Washington in recent months, a traffic accident probably couldn't be classified as "treason, felony or breach of the peace." Horan said he was familiar with the immunity clause -- Article 1, Section 6, of the Constitution -- because he had encountered it once before during his 32 years in office. Another member of Congress, also from West Virginia, invoked the clause to escape a speeding ticket 20 years earlier. Utility for reducing computer power usage http://www.localcooling.com/ref/?type=link&id=39013 Claims to have saved over 1 million kilowatt hours so far. Quote: More than 30 billion kilowatt-hours of energy is wasted because many of us simply forget to shut down our computers when we're not using them. If we could just improve the efficiency of how we use our PCs, the savings in energy costs would be over $3 billion dollars! The CO2 emissions from just 15 computers are equivalent in energy terms to the gas consumption used by one car. LocalCooling is a 100% Free power management tool from Uniblue Labs that allows users to optimize their energy savings in minutes and as a result reduce Greenhouse Gas emissions. for a good time call from http://www.robandelliot.cycomics.com/ Honda dealer sends out scratch tickets with tiny misprint http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=bizarre&id=5494878 Quote: It's a grand mistake. A New Mexico Honda dealer has sent out scratch-off tickets in a direct-mail marketing campaign. There was supposed to be only one $1,000 grand prize winner. Mother drives kids knowing they wanted to kill boy http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/law/07/18/skatepark.killing.ap/index.html?iref=newssearch Quote: A mother charged with driving her 14-year-old son and six other juveniles to a skate park so they could attack another teenager pleaded not guilty Tuesday to murder. Eva Daley is being held on $1 million bail. Police said Eva Daley knew her son and the others planned to kill Jose Cano when she drove them to the park June 26. Cano, 13, died of stab wounds. Police said he had previously been involved in a dispute with the youths. MIT cures fear, now will focus on conscience, bitchyness http://pressesc.com/01184528191_cure_for_fear Quote: MIT biochemists have identified a molecular mechanism behind fear, and successfully cured it in mice, according to an article in the journal Nature Neuroscience. Researchers from MIT's Picower Institute for Learning and Memory hope that their work could lead to the first drug to treat the millions of adults who suffer each year from persistent, debilitating fears - including hundreds of soldiers returning from conflict in Iraq and Afghanistan. Your password must be at least 18770 characters. WTF? http://support.microsoft.com/kb/q276304/ Quote: f you log on to an MIT realm, press CTRL ALT DELETE, click Change Password, type your existing MIT password, and then type a new, simple password that does not pass the dictionary check in Kadmind, you may receive the following error message: Your password must be at least 18770 characters and cannot repeat any of your previous 30689 passwords. Please type a different password. Type a password that meets these requirements in both text boxes. Note that the number of required characters changes from 17,145 to 18,770 with the installation of SP1. Mo money, mo dolphins tapping on your submarine during sex http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=278856 Quote: Some of the world's richest people are reportedly using their private submarines to indulge in deep-sea sex in front of panoramic marine vistas. But these aquatic trysts are sometimes interrupted by groups of voyeuristic dolphins, which excitedly tap on windows with their beaks. One of the world's top designers of luxury subs, US Submarines president Bruce Jones, told Bloomberg that dolphins were a problem for the amorous owners of his multi-million dollar vessels. Man attacks cell phone towers with tank Don Quixote unavailable for comment. http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,22073903-2,00.html Quote: A FORMER Telstra worker allegedly stole a tank and used it to demolish six mobile phone towers as he led police on a wild two-hour rampage through western Sydney yesterday. More than 20 police chased the tank but were powerless to stop it, retreating to a safe distance as the huge vehicle cut a path of destruction through six suburbs. Popular music across the blogs Good place to find new music. If you are enterprising enough you can even save the songs. http://hypem.com/ Giant lizard causes rerouting of traffic http://hacks.mit.edu/Hacks/by_year/2007/sign_hacked/ Quote: A construction sign near MIT campus with scrolling messages about the Mass. Ave. bridge was changed such that one of the messages read "This sign has been hacked." Too sexy for my bus http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070716/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_germany_sexy Quote: A German bus driver threatened to throw a 20-year-old sales clerk off his bus in the southern town of Lindau because he said she was too sexy, a newspaper reported on Monday. First Furries, now this http://news.yahoo.com/s/wtae/20070711/lo_wtae/13664240;_ylt=Al8ZJUUW_VhVsOBCZDxIQCkE1vAI Seriously, Pittsburgh - wtf? [ Poll ] Apple pie We went to a dinner show of "Oklahoma" at a small local theatre and they served us apple pie. However the pie was served cold. Not even room temperature. Refrigerator cold. I take my apple pie very seriously. How to get out of AT&T or Verizon http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/jul/10/sprint_nextel_defends_customer_terminations/ Quote: Officials at competitors AT&T Wireless and Verizon Wireless said that while they may terminate customers who are abusive toward customer service operators or violate other terms of their service agreements, they dont terminate customers because of customer service calls. So if you want to get out of those contracts just call up and be abusive. I bet the CS reps are excited to hear this! "Mr. Rogers to blame for entitlement generation" http://online.wsj.com/public/article/SB118358476840657463.html?mod=blog Quote: Don Chance, a finance professor at Louisiana State University, says it dawned on him last spring. The semester was ending, and as usual, students were making a pilgrimage to his office, asking for the extra points needed to lift their grades to A's. "They felt so entitled," he recalls, "and it just hit me. We can blame Mr. Rogers." Fred Rogers, the late TV icon, told several generations of children that they were "special" just for being whoever they were. He meant well, and he was a sterling role model in many ways. But what often got lost in his self-esteem-building patter was the idea that being special comes from working hard and having high expectations for yourself. Maybe the sense of entitlement comes from the lack of acceptance of responsibility...such as blaming TV for making your children into brats. Porn star uses former classmates name for screen alias http://www.click2houston.com/news/13645412/detail.html?cnn=yes Quote: The real Syvette Wimberly was one of Madden's classmates at Kingwood High School. The women knew each other in the ninth grade. Wimberly does not believe it's a coincidence that her old classmate is now using her name. "I imagine she knew the name and maybe thought it sounded catchy and was unique," Wimberly said. Wimberly is suing Madden for invasion of privacy and emotional distress. Father's discovery during call to tech support http://community.livejournal.com/techsupport/1426102.html Quote: Suddenly, the anti-virus pauses to scan a folder titled, "Circus Clips." He says to me, "Circus clips, my daughter must love the circus this is taking a long time." I mention she probably has videos and stuff and we go on. Some time later the scan is done and the guy says, "I think I'll view one of my daughters videos to see if it's streaming any faster. What do you think, Elephants rides or lions?" I pick Lions because who doesn't like lions? So there is silence and then... the unmistakable sound of porn music and fake "OOOOOHs" Guy quickly shuts it off, apologizes to me and says the damn virus must have gotten to that clip. So we go to Elephant rides 1-5. Queue porn music and such. He goes, "Hold on, I'm going to look at these high school photos folder." - More lesbian porn. Great. Pittsburgh welcome Furries with open paws... http://www.pittsburghpostgazette.com/pg/07188/799987-51.stm Girl, 11, charged with DUI http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/national/1120AP_ODD_Child_Driver_Chase.html?source=mypi Quote: Police who chased a car for miles along a highway at speeds up to 100 mph said the driver was drunk, hardly a rarity in this resort town. But there was more: When they looked inside the flipped vehicle with guns drawn, they found an 11-year-old girl at the wheel. "You go up there thinking it's a felon you're dealing with," assistant police Chief Greg Duck said. The girl, who was slightly injured in the crash, is now charged with driving under the influence of alcohol, speeding, reckless endangerment and leaving the scene of an accident. Duck said she sideswiped another vehicle during the roughly 8-mile chase. Historical control of the Middle East in 90 seconds http://www.mapsofwar.com/ind/imperial-history.html Quote: Who has controlled the Middle East over the course of history? Pretty much everyone. Egyptians, Turks, Jews, Romans, Arabs, Persians, Europeans...the list goes on. Who will control the Middle East today? That is a much bigger question. What your tattoo says about you Mexican police officers claim to see witch Local experts (aka Local UFO club) concur! http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=e27_1173581537 Quote: Testimony from dozens of persons and police officers depict seeing what appear to be witches flying through the skies of remote Mexican towns. Several people videotaped the strange phenomenon. The creatures appear to infest the skies over an old cemetery. im in ur t-shirt writing ur verbage http://www.thinkgeek.com/tshirts/generic/9505 Quote: Although the "im in ur" meme started off with virtual death and destruction (I'm in your base killing your d00dz), it was quickly overtaken by the legions of cute, fluffy, and irresistible. (And by that we mean cats.) Reclaim the phrase for the humans by captioning yourself. This shirt is full of write-on, wash-off goodness. Tell everyone you're in their noun verbing their noun! Bored with what you wrote this morning? Throw the shirt in the wash and think up a new saying. It's like Mad Libs meets Photoshop in a head-to-head deathmatch on your chest. The only parts of the Paris Hilton interview you need to see Thank you David Letterman. Duncan the dog still on voting rolls http://bismarcktribune.com/articles/2007/06/29/ap/strange/d8q2hfj80.txt Quote: "She's just kind of annoyed because Duncan's still on the voting rolls," said her lawyer, Kristen Anderson. "Somebody is clearly not getting the message." Laura Lockard, King County's acting election program manager for voter services, said there is "an arduous process" to have someone, even if it's a dog, taken off the voter rolls. shocking! car accident http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=dc9_1183105107&p=1 Quote: Asian car accident. - Warning: Might shock some viewers G-spot enhancment the latest rage in cosmetic surgery http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/06/03/LVG2QQ3F6J1.DTL Quote: Karen Roberts scheduled an appointment with her plastic surgeon at the end of a long day. The 22-year-old student at Solano Community College attended morning classes, caught up with homework and took her 4-year-old daughter to a matinee. By 4 p.m. she sat inside Dr. Justin Salerno's office, readying to become the surgeon's first patient to receive an injection called a G-Shot, also known as G-spot Amplification. With a 3 1/2-inch needle, Salerno would pump a small dose of collagen into his patient's Grafenberg Spot and make it swell to the size of a quarter. Plane buried in ice for 50 years will fly again http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/06/22/plane-freed-from-a-glacier-sets-out-for-britain-again/ Quote: Around 1:30 p.m. Eastern time today, a World War II-era P-38 Lightning fighter plane is set to take off from Teterboro Airport in northeastern New Jersey, bound for Duxford, England - where it is almost 65 years overdue. The plane was one of six P-38s and two B-17 bombers on their way to help shore up the defenses of the British Isles in July 1942, seven months after Pearl Harbor, when bad weather blocked them first from reaching a refueling base in Iceland and then from making it back to their previous stop in western Greenland. The pilots wound up having to make emergency landings on Greenland's ice cap, where they were spotted by air and rescued by dogsled teams three days later. Greenland's harsh climate soon buried the planes in snow and ice - almost 270 feet of it, eventually - so though the rough whereabouts of what came to be called the Lost Squadron were known, the planes were not precisely located until 1983. Nine years later - when they had been icebound for 50 years - an expedition succeeded in burrowing down to one of the P-38s. New Zealand saves child from parent stupidity http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/asiapcf/06/21/name.child.ap/index.html Quote: New Zealand authorities have blocked a couple's bid to officially name their new son "4real," saying numerals are not allowed. Pat and Sheena Wheaton said they decided to name their new baby "4real" shortly after having an ultrasound and being struck by the reality of his impending arrival. "For most of us, when we try to figure out what our names mean, we have to look it up in a babies book and ... there's no direct link between the meaning and the name," Pat Wheaton told TV One on Wednesday. "With this name, everyone knows what it means." Teacher resigns in order to marry 16-year-old student http://www.nbc30.com/education/13542246/detail.html Quote: A 40-year-old high school teacher and cross country coach has resigned and married a 16-year-old student. A marriage license shows Brenton Wuchae married Windy Hager in Brunswick County, N.C., on Monday. The county board of education approved Wuchae's resignation Tuesday -- a week after he had requested it. Wuchae coached Hager at South Brunswick High School, where she was a star runner. He lives less than two miles from her home on Oak Island. Hackers insert nuke explosion on webcam http://www.net-security.org/secworld.php?id=5281 Quote: Czech hackers managed to get access to a webcam and insert realistic footage of nuclear explosion. The incident was broadcasted on the Czech TV programme Panorama on Sunday. After an immense interest from both the media and the public, the group that goes by the name Ztohoven released a statement in which they claim they are not terrorists or a political group, they just wanted to see what the reaction would be. Chicago invents pizza flavored beer Bill Swerski unavailable for comment. http://www.nbc30.com/foodnews/13527549/detail.html?rss=har&psp=weird-news Quote: How about pizza beer? Chicago-area real estate broker Tom Seefurth said he has created a pizza-flavored beer. Seefurth brews beer and ale at his home in Campton Township. His pizza beer started as a brewing experiment. He added tomatoes, oregano, garlic and basil to one batch and called the result Mamma Mia Pizza Beer. 10 ways to open a beer with no opener in sight http://www.german-flag-history.com/10ways-to-open-beer.html Make money fast! Hold your unborn child hostage! http://www.helpmybabylive.com/ They need to find these people and recycle them. LOL cat goes mainstream Knock out the fat while listening to Eye of the Tiger http://www.lnt.com/sm-george-foreman-igrill--pi-2615193.html Quote: Turn your backyard BBQ into an instant party with the iGrill from George Foreman. The iGrill has a 200 square inch nonstick grilling surface that is covered with George's Tough Nonstick Coating. The included 10 watt speaker system plays your favorite tunes from your iPod, MP3 or other USB music system. What is your accent? http://www.youthink.com/quiz.asp?action=take&quiz_id=9827 Quote: What American accent do you have? (Best version so far) This is version 4 of the famous quiz that tells you what accent you have. But it still won`t tell you if you have a Pittsburgh or Vermont accent (sorry) Me: Midland What the world eats http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1626519_1373664,00.html Quote: Japan: The Ukita family of Kodaira City Food expenditure for one week: 37,699 Yen or $317.25 Favorite foods: sashimi, fruit, cake, potato chips Brat hits pucks at man & son, man reacts, man arrested http://www.wgrz.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=48674 Quote: A Lockport man will stand trial in the case of a child who shot pucks at him in the Amherst Pepsi Center this spring. Charles Schmidl, 38, pled not guilty in Amherst Town Court Tuesday to a charge of second degree harassment. He has already pleaded not guilty to child endangerment. Schmidl will have a non-jury trial at a date and time to be determined. The incident happened in April inside the Amherst Pepsi Center. As the Sabres practiced in one part of the building, there was a skate and shoot happening in the Olympic rink. Officials say a 10 year old boy who has been warned in the past about bad behavior, was taking slapshots at Schmidl. According to Amherst police, Schmidl was at the rink with his young son. He warned the 10 year old to stop. Schmidl was hit three times with a puck. When the boy did not stop, officials at the Pepsi Center say Schmidl confronted the boy and dragged him off the ice. An intelligent LOL cat? oxymoron? Hi Mike. Hi Jamie. Hi. Hope you guys are well. Students invent powdered alcoholic mixed drinks http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/europe/06/06/powdered.booze.reut/index.html?eref=rss_topstories Quote: Dutch students have invented powdered alcohol which they say can be sold legally to minors. The latest innovation in inebriation, called Booz2Go, is available in 20-gram packets that cost $1.35-$2. Top it up with water and you have a bubbly, lime-colored and -flavored drink with just 3 percent alcohol content. Bee winner: good at spelling, bad for parties http://www.ifilm.com/video/2862093 Quote: this 3-and-a-half minute clip needs to be turned into a full-length movie. INCREDIBLE! And our true heart goes out to the anchor who tries to be as polite as possible in the face of sheer insanity "Where u at?" Amp'd Mobile: "Bankruptcy" http://www.tgdaily.com/content/view/32335/118/ Quote: The specialty, youth-targeting cell phone service provider has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, citing the fact that almost half of its customers were delinquent with paying their bills. Amp'd Mobile, which specializes in offering music and video services to its customers, said it faces a "liquidity crisis". According to court documents, around 80,000 of its 175,000 subscribers were recorded as nonpaying customers. This story about birds may not be SFW http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/2/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10443553 Quote: The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds has banned the word for male birds from its website, drawing accusations of political correctness gone mad. Visitors to the website found the word "cock" had been replaced by asterisks, while the species, tit, suffered no such indignity. Forum user John D, of Yorkshire, told The Sun: "As bird lovers will know, a Parus Major is a great tit and while cocks do not get past the forum censor, tits do not cause offence. I've heard of PC but that is taking things too far." A worker claimed the word had been replaced because of software filters but an RSPB spokesman said it preferred to describe birds as either male or female. Phil Wellman in case you missed it [ Poll ] Women of "My Name is Earl" Instant karma. Man busts cap in Wendy's manager over chili sauce http://www.wmur.com/news/13410123/detail.html Quote: Police said a man in the drive-through argued with an employee because he wanted more packets of the condiment. The worker told the customer that restaurant policy prohibited a customer from getting more than three packets. The customer demanded 10 and got them. Police say the man then asked for even more and the manager came out to talk to him. Miami-Dade police spokeswoman Mary Walter said that's when the manager was shot several times in the arm, but didn't suffer serious injury. BIG pile of plastic in the ocean entering the food chain http://www.bestlifeonline.com/cms/publish/travel-leisure/Our_oceans_are_turning_into_plastic_are_we.shtml Quote: At the same time, all over the globe, there are signs that plastic pollution is doing more than blighting the scenery; it is also making its way into the food chain. Some of the most obvious victims are the dead seabirds that have been washing ashore in startling numbers, their bodies packed with plastic: things like bottle caps, cigarette lighters, tampon applicators, and colored scraps that, to a foraging bird, resemble baitfish. (One animal dissected by Dutch researchers contained 1,603 pieces of plastic.) And the birds aren't alone. All sea creatures are threatened by floating plastic, from whales down to zooplankton. There's a basic moral horror in seeing the pictures: a sea turtle with a plastic band strangling its shell into an hourglass shape; a humpback towing plastic nets that cut into its flesh and make it impossible for the animal to hunt. More than a million seabirds, 100,000 marine mammals, and countless fish die in the North Pacific each year, either from mistakenly eating this junk or from being ensnared in it and drowning. Dad instructs son to push other kids to see Shrek http://www1.whdh.com/news/articles/local/BO53630/ Quote: A local father is due in court Tuesday after unleashing an alleged verbal tirade at McDonald's in Taunton. Derek Lindsay, 34, and his child, were at the fast food restaurant's play area on Sunday, where clowns dressed as Ronald McDonald and Shrek were entertaining a group of kids. According to police, the outburst started when another man overheard Lindsay instructing his child to push other kids out of the way. The son followed his parent's advice, which led to a verbal confrontation. Artist protests foxhunting by eating dog? http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200705/s1937267.htm Quote: A British artist ate a corgi dog, famous for being Queen Elizabeth II's favourite breed, in protest after a group including her husband Prince Philip allegedly killed a fox earlier this year. Mark McGowan, who has previously eaten a swan as part of a performance art show, tucked into the dog alongside Yoko Ono, the widow of ex-Beatle John Lennon, live on a London radio station. "I know some people will find this offensive and tasteless but I am doing this to raise awareness about the RSPCA's inability to prosecute Prince Philip and his friends shooting a fox earlier this year, letting it struggle for life for five minutes and then beating it to death with a stick," he said. LOL code http://lolcode.com/ Quote: HAI CAN HAS STDIO? I HAS A VAR IM IN YR LOOP UP VAR!!1 VISIBLE VAR IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHXBYE IM OUTTA YR LOOP KTHXBYE Teen discovers the web likes attractive 18 year olds Surprisingly not an article from The Onion. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/05/28/AR2007052801370.html?referrer=reddit Quote: Early this month, 18-year-old Allison Stokke walked into her high school track coach's office and asked if he knew any reliable media consultants. Stokke had tired of constant phone calls, of relentless Internet attention, of interview requests from Boston to Brazil. In her high school track and field career, Stokke had won a 2004 California state pole vaulting title, broken five national records and earned a scholarship to the University of California, yet only track devotees had noticed. Then, in early May, she received e-mails from friends who warned that a year-old picture of Stokke idly adjusting her hair at a track meet in New York had been plastered across the Internet. She had more than 1,000 new messages on her MySpace page. A three-minute video of Stokke standing against a wall and analyzing her performance at another meet had been posted on YouTube and viewed 150,000 times. For Tehkgi I'mma gonna buy this. First issue is released in June. http://www.idwpublishing.com/titles/transformers/hos.shtml Students protest not graduating Please read the sign closely. http://www.wfaa.com/sharedcontent/dws/wfaa/latestnews/stories/wfaa070524_wz_taksprotest.6fe879b.html Fox creating "The Sarah Connor Chronicals" http://www.reuters.com/article/entertainmentNews/idUSN1629197120070517 Quote: The Fox network is turning to two of television's more familiar sitcom faces and a futuristic drama inspired by the "Terminator" movies in a bid to fortify a prime-time lineup dominated by "American Idol." The 2007-2008 Fox schedule to be officially unveiled for advertisers on Thursday consists of three comedies and four dramas in all, one of them a sci-fi thriller called "The Sarah Connor Chronicles," a spinoff from the film "Terminator 2: Judgment Day." Top 25 rudest drivers by city Quote: MIAMI - For the second straight year, rude Miami drivers have earned the city the title of worst road rage in a survey released Tuesday. Miami motorists said they saw other drivers slam on their brakes, run red lights and talk on cell phones, according to AutoVantage, a Connecticut-based automobile membership club offering travel services and roadside assistance. Other cities near the top of the rude drivers list were New York, Boston, Los Angeles and Washington, D.C. South Miami resident Erik Pinto told The Associated Press he's probably seen every bad driving habit on Miami's roads. "You don't want to know what I've seen," Pinto said. "I've seen everything. I'm from L.A., and we don't see the crazy drivers that you see here." Portland, Ore., drivers were the least likely of the cities to see other motorists tailgating on the roadways, and St. Louis motorists were the least likely to swear at another driver, the survey found. Minneapolis-St. Paul was rated the most courteous city in 2006 but slipped to the middle of the list this year. The most frequent cause of road rage cited in the survey was impatient motorists. Drivers also cited poor driving in fast lanes and driving while stressed, frustrated or angry. "The best piece of advice is to take a deep breath. Slow down, be aware and be careful," AutoVantage spokesman Todd Smith said, adding the aim of the survey is to increase driver safety across the nation. More than 2,500 drivers who regularly commute in 25 major metropolitan areas were asked to rate road rage and rude driving in telephone surveys between January and March. The survey was conducted by Prince Market Research has a margin of error of plus or minus 2 percentage points. The list, ranked from those reporting the most incidents of road rage to the fewest: 1. Miami 2. New York 3. Boston 4. Los Angeles 5. Washington, D.C. 6. Phoenix 7. Chicago 8. Sacramento, Calif. 9. Philadelphia 10. San Francisco 11. Houston 12. Atlanta 13. Detroit 14. Minneapolis-St. Paul 15. Baltimore 16. Tampa, Fla. 17. San Diego 18. Cincinnati 19. Cleveland 20. Denver 21. Dallas-Ft. Worth 22. St. Louis 23. Seattle-Tacoma 24. Pittsburgh 25. Portland, Ore. Hammertime! https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/974 Quote: Adds 'STOP! Hammertime!' functionality to Firefox - Simply install and marvel as you hear MC Hammer sing whenever a page is stopped! Includes a new feature to allow you to change between a Hammertime button or a standard stop button - Now you can have the vocal without the visual! Install on friends computers when they're not looking for maximum enjoyment. Overraction of the year? http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070518/ap_on_fe_st/odd_ticket_protest;_ylt=Ah__ADDJ5p5UrzbWADZKyjLtiBIF Quote: On April 25, an office employee for the Austin Police Department smelled a rank odor as she gathered envelopes from the box. Opening the envelopes, the woman noticed one leaking a brown fluid, which got onto her hands and her desk, according to the complaint. The next morning the woman awoke with a headache and vomited repeatedly. She was hospitalized for about two days with an undetermined illness. Because soccer needs more difficulty http://www.flickr.com/photo_zoom.gne?id=464581291&size=o US slacking when it comes to cigarette consumption http://economist.com/daily/chartgallery/displaystory.cfm?story_id=9177235 Quote: The Greeks puffed away more than any other nation, smoking over 3,000 cigarettes per head of population in 2006, according to ERC, a market-research group. It compares annual consumption in 120 countries, which together account for over 95% of global consumption. Spain, another Mediterranean country, also smokes heavily, but it is the traditionally poorer eastern European countries that dominate the top 15. Rich Japan is the lone non-European nation. 10 month old baby obtains gun permit in Illinois Nobody puts baby in a corner? http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/6662213.stm Quote: Bubba Ludwig may only be 10 months old, but he has already successfully obtained a gun licence in the US state of Illinois. Bubba's father, Howard Ludwig, applied on his behalf after his grandfather gave him a shotgun as an heirloom. Mr Ludwig said he had not expected to succeed, but he filled in the online form, paid $5 and the licence was his. US gun laws are regularly the subject of fierce debate, renewed recently after April's Virginia Tech killings. Fantastic college mascot http://www.evergreen.edu/athletics/geoduck.htm Quote: The geoduck is mollusk native to the Pacific Northwest. The geoduck (pronounced "GOO-ee-duck") is the largest burrowing clam in the world, weighing in at anywhere from one to three pounds at maturity. The appearance of geoduck's large, protruding siphon has led to the belief that the geoduck has the properties of an aphrodisiac. The geoduck has a life expectancy of up to 150 years with the oldest recorded at 163 years. Soup for me? Quote: Cool off with 'Soup Nazi' FOOD | Real life 'Seinfeld' character coming to River North in deal with ice cream chain May 15, 2007 BY JANET RAUSA FULLER Staff Reporter / jfuller@suntimes.com There will be soup for you -- and you'll be able to get it with an ice cream, too. Al Yeganeh, the brusque New York soup maker who was parodied as the "Soup Nazi" on TV's "Seinfeld," is opening soup-and-ice-cream cafes in Chicago and six other U.S. cities. The shops will be run in partnership with Cold Stone Creamery, the Arizona chain whose employees are known to sing while they scoop. Al Yeganeh poses outside of his takeout spot, Soup Kitchen International, in this November 10, 1997 file photo. (AP) The Chicago SoupMan/Cold Stone cafe is scheduled to open May 24 at 21 W. Ontario, in an existing Cold Stone store. The cafe will offer soup and ice cream year-round. "From a seasonal standpoint, winter is very difficult for [Cold Stone], and summer is very difficult for us," said John Bello, chief executive of Original SoupMan. "So we thought we'd be a natural pair." The place will serve five of Yeganeh's soups -- chicken vegetable, minestrone, turkey chili, seafood bisque and a rotating special, Bello said. Customers ordering soup will also get a piece of bread, chocolate mints and fruit on the side -- just like visitors to Yeganeh's original, now-closed soup stand near Times Square. But, sorry, customers won't be regaled with Yeganeh's trademark bark, made famous by "Seinfeld" -- "No soup for you!" Yeganeh's role? To keep an eye on quality control and new product development for the expanding company, according to Bello. Another Chicago storefront shop offers a version of the hot-and-cold concept. The place at 2943 N. Broadway sells soup in the colder months, when it goes by the name Soupbox. In the summer, it switches to Italian ice and is called Icebox. [ Poll ] The Women of "The Office" If you REALLY want to vote for Meridith or Phyllis thats your problem. "...the situation 'involved poor judgment.'" http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18645623/from/RS.3/ Quote: Staff members of an elementary school staged a fictitious gun attack on students during a class trip, telling them it was not a drill as the children cried and hid under tables. "involved poor judgment"... ya think? Youngest mother ever-hint: you can count her age on one hand http://www.wired.com/science/discoveries/news/2007/05/dayintech_0514 Quote: 1939: Lina Medina becomes the youngest confirmed mother in recorded medical history, delivering a son at the age of 5. The Peruvian child delivered a 5-pound, 8-ounce boy via caesarean section; her small pelvis made it impossible for the baby to pass through the birth canal. In a detailed report of the case, Dr. Edmundo Escomel described the girl's early sexual maturity. Lina had her first menstrual cycle when she was only eight months old; her breasts were almost completely developed by the time she was 4. Lina's condition, known as precocious puberty, was an extreme case, so much so that the story was dismissed as a hoax by many. But doctors X-rayed the fetus' skeleton in utero and provided a picture of Lina, taken late in her pregnancy. The photograph, shot in profile, proves not only the pregnancy but shows the extent of her sexual development. The baby, a boy named Gerardo, was healthy. He grew up normally (his mother's true identity was revealed to him when he was 10) but died at 40 from a bone-marrow disease. Paternity remains a mystery. Lina's father was arrested on suspicion of rape and incest but the charges were later dropped for lack of evidence. Lina, who is still living, has never divulged a name and, indeed, may not know. Bullied kid sues, gets yearly income, likes cheetos http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2007/05/14/1178995042035.html Quote: A bullied teenager will receive substantial damages and an income for life after a Supreme Court judge found NSW educational authorities failed in their duty of care to deal with playground assaults and bullying. Benjamin Cox's mother, Angela, sued the State of NSW on behalf of the Hunter Valley teenager. He will receive at least $220,000 for pain and suffering. She said the bullying, which started in infants school, had resulted in her son having little education and being unable to work. Outside court his barrister, Dennis Wheelahan, QC, said the judgement had implications for the education system. "The implications are that pupils in our school systems who are the subject of this type of conduct [if liability is established] can expect to recover substantial damages as is the case for Benjamin Cox." Gas station tries to stick it to big oil by overcharging gas http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2007/05/10/MNGUKPOGKJ1.DTL Quote: t has become almost a regular stop for San Francisco tourists. Once they've seen the Golden Gate Bridge and the Transamerica Pyramid, they can drive down Harrison Street to see the most amazing sight of all. Regular gas for $4 a gallon. Actually, it is higher than that. At Bob Oyster's Shell station at Sixth and Harrison, regular is $4.33 a gallon, plus is $4.43, and "V-Power'' is $4.53. Motorists can be seen rolling their eyes as they drive by. Just another example of a greedy station owner, sticking his customers for all they are worth? Not really. There's a much deeper story here, and it begins with Oyster, a respected, self-made businessman who turned a single station into Oyster Petroleum, a profitable firm in Redwood City. Oyster is nobody's fool. Don't think he isn't well aware that the Chevron station across the street is selling regular for 70 cents less. Putting the price way up over $4 a gallon isn't about making a profit. It's about making a statement to a multinational corporation. After Shell forced him to pay higher prices for gas in San Francisco and jacked up his rent, Oyster says, he decided to fight back. Old man lies in own grave for 6 years waiting to die http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSSP22057620070504 Quote: Hundreds of people are flocking to a remote village in eastern India to catch a glimpse of an old man who has spent six years lying inside his own grave waiting to die as he mourns for his wife, officials said. Basanta Roy claims he is 103 and spends his day clearing weeds from the grave and lying in it. Belonging to a Hindu caste who bury their dead, Roy dug his grave close to his wife's after she died in the late 1990s. "He cleans his grave every day and waits for his death, which seems to be eluding him," said Shyam Narayan Ram, a senior government official from Jharkhand state. Sony *insert witty mike headline here* Goat http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=451414&in_page_id=1770&ct=5 NSFW Teachers are clearly not paid enough. I mean, when you gotta steal a third-grader's jacket and try and sell it on ebay... http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/0502072coat1.html Have I mentioned I hate hippies? http://wsbradio.com/news/050207vegan.html Quote: ATLANTA (AP) A Superior Court jury in Atlanta convicted a vegan couple of murder and cruelty to children Wednesday in the death of their six-week old, who was fed a diet largely consisting of soy milk and apple juice. Man persuades woman to let him apply ointment with his penis http://www.thisispembrokeshire.net/display.var.1351648.0.woman_tricked_into_sex_by_*****_cream_treatment.php (you'll have to cut and paste...sorry but worth it) Quote: A Syrian-born airline pilot allegedly tricked a schoolteacher from Haverfordwest into having sex with him by pretending he had to administer ointment on the end of his penis, a jury heard yesterday (Tuesday). Fadi Sbano, 38, even pretended to know a gynaecologist who advised him on how often to have intercourse with her and whether to thrust "slowly or quickly". And, on the "doctor's advice", he kept a clock on the bedside table to time the sessions. $19 million jackpot goes unclaimed in NJ http://www.myfoxny.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=3033213&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1 Quote: What happened to the person holding the winning New Jersey Lottery ticket from April 24, 2006? The prize has gone unclaimed, making it the largest jackpot to be returned to the state in recent memory. Nathan Fillion is doomed Fox is putting his new show "Drive" on Monday's at 8:00. That means it is in the same time slot as "Heroes." Sorry, Charlie. Average guy and income http://men.msn.com/articlemh.aspx?cp-documentid=1028759 Quote: Amenities the average guy wants added to ATMs: 1. Frequent-withdrawal points 2. Porn clips 3. Hot coffee Percentage of U.S. bills carrying bacteria: 90 Oh yeah like coffee is practical! Sheryl Crow has never been to Taco Bell http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/21/AR2007042101385_pf.html Quote: Crow (4/19, Springfield, Tenn.): I have spent the better part of this tour trying to come up with easy ways for us all to become a part of the solution to global warming. Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. Cookie that discourages eating it http://www.dominomag.com/daily/blogs/dailydose/2007/04/just_the_facts.html Quote: These cookies by interdisciplinary creative duo AndrewAndrew are all about full disclosure so you can learn all about your snack before eating it.. that is if you can wait long enough to read the nutritional facts before taking a bite. 13 year old wins speed texting title http://news.aol.com/topnews/articles/_a/teen-wins-fastest-texter-title/20070423162909990001?ecid=RSS0001 Quote: Thirteen-year-old Morgan Pozgar, of Claysburg, Pa., was crowned LG National Texting champion on Saturday after she typed "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" lyrics from "Mary Poppins" in 15 seconds. Orangutans play video games, pwn noobs http://www.9news.com/news/watercooler/article.aspx?storyid=67915 Quote: Four-year-old Bernas isn't the computer wizard his mom is, but he's learning. Just the other day he used his lips and feet to play a game on the touch-screen monitor as his mom, Madu, swung from vines and climbed trees. The two Sumatran orangutans at Zoo Atlanta are playing computer games while researchers study the cognitive skills of the orange and brown primates. The best part? Zoo visitors get to watch their every move. The orangutans use a touch screen built into a tree-like structure that blend in with their zoo habitat. Vi